Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

I’m Starting To Worry About Tony

with 2 comments

Tony Adams: Not A Well Man

I think Tony Adams may be allergic to management. He doesn’t look well at all.

His skin is grey-green colour of a dated oyster.

He is constantly squinting and blinking: a man with a meningeal dread of allowing light down his optic nerve to attack his brain.

And when he speaks in soft measured tones, he pauses, purses his lips and swallows. Like he’s just been a little bit sick in his mouth.

His hair is dishevelled and large dark crescents hang under bloodshot eyes. Symptomatic of sleepless nights, or as they call it in the north-east, Charles insomnia.

One minute he is slumping in his dugout with the apathy of a heroin-addict, but the next he is leaping and waving like high-school cheerleader. Mood swings.

And the delusions have started. That his team’s form is somehow affected by his choice of neckwear can be laughed off as quaint superstition. But the belief that Hayden Mullins is an a like-for-like replacement for Lassana Diarra signals a more worrying descent into dementia. We can only hope that January signing of a player called Pele has not been caused by confusion and befuddlement and 1960s-themed hallucinations.

If I were the Adams physician I would prescribe a short period of convalescence by the coast to take some of the sea air. Sadly, he’s already there.

So my only other suggestion is to suck the poison from Adams’ veins: the poison that is his job. It would be an act of humanity on the part of the Portsmouth board to let him go. Put him out of his misery. I know that he hasn’t been there that long. But sometimes you just know.

You’ve been doing too much Tony. Play some golf. Travel the world. Just take a break. God knows you look like you could use it.


Written by harrisharrison

January 30, 2009 at 8:31 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Look at what you have done. The power of the blog.


    February 9, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    • I’ve done him a favour. Hilarious that they’re thinking of replacing him with the only man in football who looks more ill: Avram Grant.


      February 10, 2009 at 9:14 am

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