Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Do Accountants Dream of Electric Sheep?

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As the University Challenge scandal trimbles on, my suspicions of a wider conspiracy are taking on a greater, more sinister shape. I have become increasingly agitated ever since I read this article about this report of the Newcastle vs Sale rugger game in the Guinness Premiership.

For Sam Kay read Andrew Fenby: an accountant inveigling itself into society as a near perfect replica of a human being, indistiguishable except for a lack of empathic response. You just have to look in their eyes. They’re dead.

The most frightening aspect of this is that both Kay and Fenby are employed by the same company: Pricewaterhouse Coopers. They may be producing these accountants on an industrial scale. I called the headquarters for an official comment on the situation but they not only declined to comment they also told me to go away because I was a bit strange. Suspicious.

The line between real and accountant life has become blurred, so watch out for more fugitives: if you are unfortunate to come across one my suggestion would be to to try to embarass it or maybe compliment it: tell it you like its hair. If it’s human it will blush. If it’s an accountant,  it will maintain it’s lifeless pallor.

And remember to look behind the eyes. There’s honestly nothing there.


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