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The Lounge Leopard

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Seeing as we are on the subjects of mascots, and to slake my juvenile thirst for all things connected with the 2010 887039_mediumWorld Cup, I think it is time to acquaint ourselves with the mascot for next year’s festivities in South Africa. So here he is: Zakumi. It seeems that every mascot worth his or her crust these days should be introduced complete with a small biography. Zakumi is a leopard who knows the score: he has his life-story. I am not clear why this is necessary, except possibly to sell small furry versions of Zakumi.

So we learn that that “over the last few years he has travelled the whole of Africa where the leopard habitat is good.” Judging by the recent photo of Zakumi below, it seems that those years have taken their toll. The hairline has receded slightly, the complexion has lost its glow. In fact, he looks more like Keith Richard. Zakumi has obviously spent one night too many on the savannah listening to jungle music. After all, according to his biog, “one thing is for sure, Zakumi will be first on the dancefloor and last off it at the biggest party in the world.”

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What is left of the hair was dyed green “as he felt it would be the perfect camouflage against the green of the football pitch.” Presumably to lose his marker at corners or to confuse the offside-trappers. One wonders why no striker has thought of this before. Probably because its a rubbish idea.

We are told that Zakumi loves football. Which is a relief for Zakumi. I’d hate to think of him traipsing around the football grounds of South Africa, listlessly waving at the young fans, waiting for the whole nightmare to be over so he can get back to larging it on the plains of the Serengeti with a raddled old World Cup Willie.

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Written by harrisharrison

April 27, 2009 at 7:38 pm

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