Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Mum Is Not The Word Mitch

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One of the first lessons they teach prospective mothers at mum school is how to embarrass their children. There is all sorts of fiendish techniques available; ranging from classics such as the moistened handkerchief applied to unsuspecting chops or limbo-dancing at weddings to more insidious examples like asking your ladyfriend if she was pregnant because she was feeling a bit dicky (thanks Mum).

But Mitchell Johnson’s mum has thrown the textbook out of the window – she obviously passed this particular module of her education with flying colours, managing to humiliate her son in the national press with some disparaging comments about his girlfriend. And now she’s being blamed for his poor form so far in the Ashes series.

I am very suspicious about this. Largely because I cannot really relate to this sort of maternal jealousy. The first time I took my girlfriend to meet my mum she passed out onto the floor because not only was she shocked that I actually found one willing to go out with me but also that she wasn’t Filipino and didn’t show up on my Paypal account. When she came round she started foaming at the mouth at this new grandchild-making machine presented before her.

Plus there are certain stereotypes that we expect our rugged Australian fast bowlers to live up to. One of them is not being hypersensitive to the whims of an overprotective mother. Look at Peter Siddle. He’s a twat because he’s supposed to be. He probably keeps his mum locked up in the backyard with his pet dingo. You could learn a thing or two from him Mitch.

Written by harrisharrison

July 25, 2009 at 2:20 pm

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