Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport


with 4 comments

Bear with me on this one.

Back in the 80s when I was a small boy, my dad would offer my sisters and me a special treat. He’d gather us around like cuckoo chicks in the nest, pierce a hole in can of condensed milk and distribute it among his brood via a teaspoon. 

But after a few exquisite spoonfuls, he would call a premature end to the sugary fun explaining in patriarchal terms that we should exercise moderation in all things. Which inevitably lead to rancorous grumblings from his offspring that he was a stingy old git and was probably going to slurp down the rest of the can himself when we’d all been tucked up in bed.

So when I came to an age when I was able to put the capital together to buy my own tin of condensed milk, I did so. I poured the whole lot into a bowl and began to ladle it greedily down my gullet with a tablespoon. Yes. A tablespoon. 

Very quickly my father’s words came back to haunt me though. A mere third of the way through the bowl, I was finished. Full-bellied with sweet vomit dribbling down my chops. A valuable lesson learnt.

And that’s how I feel about cricket at the moment. It’s like milk. And what exacerbates the bloated feeling is that the milk on offer isn’t very good at being condensed milk. It should just stick to being normal whole milk.


Written by harrisharrison

September 13, 2009 at 9:18 am

Posted in Cricket

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4 Responses

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  1. Not exactly as I recall but certainly more than a grain of truth.

    England’s one day performances leave with us the rancid aftertaste of decidedly sour miilk.

    The middle order batting has,to continue the analogy,all the firmness and solidity of a pot of yogurt.


    September 24, 2009 at 3:27 pm

  2. One spoon for you, and one for you, and one for you and… two for Dad. That is exactly how it happened.


    September 25, 2009 at 1:29 pm

  3. Are we ruining your blog-cred with these comments? Say the word and I’ll quit. And don’t say you don’t have any because that would be untrue.


    September 25, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    • Don’t worry. I don’t think blog-cred exists. If it does, I don’t want it.


      September 26, 2009 at 7:05 am

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