Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Nipping It In The Butt

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England aren’t playing cricket again for nearly a month. Which in modern terms is ages. I hope they remember what they’re doing when they get on the plane back to Sud A.

I also pray that no-one else rips their buttocks in the interim. For one member of the squad to rip his ass cheek asunder is unfortunate, two is definitely disconcerting. I can hardly compare Broad and Collingwood’s current posterior predicament to my own experience, but after I’ve played cricket my bum is probably the only part of my anatomy that doesn’t ache.

It largely just sits there during play, just at the top of my legs. sometimes wobbling vaguely as I lollop in to bowl, but generally not contributing anything to my performance. I can’t say I’ve studied the rears of many cricketers (with the possible exception of Andrew Caddick – whose bottom seemed to be moving its own rumba beat during his run-up) but I would suggest that my gluteal indolence is universal.

My hunch is that this current scourge among the England team is the result of some overenthusiastic ass-slapping, a practise which is becoming as dangerous as pre-match football warm-up. Time to nip this in the butt I think.


Written by harrisharrison

October 7, 2009 at 8:01 pm

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