Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Don’t Read If You Like Kebabs

with 2 comments

People who inhabit the world of football like to make a fuss about trivial things so it is surprising that it has taken until now for the current swine flu craze to take hold. And now some bod at the Health Protection Agency has warned that the virus might spread quicker among footballers because they are forever lurging up on the pitch.

Regular readers of this blog (sorry, regular reader – my little sister) will know that I quite often make comparisons between current sporting affairs and events from my own experience. I think it’s a regressional thing. Anyway, I contracted meningitis about seven years ago. It was the rubbish semi-skimmed version that makes you feel permanently hungover, rather than the vicious strand that can kill you.

My mum convinced me that I had contracted it from eating too many kebabs. Her theory was that my local kebab shop operatives almost certainly didn’t follow prescribed hygiene procedures and I had probably been dining out on raw sewage for most of my university career.

All of which was enough to turn me off kebabs completely. My mum just thought I was fat, and was using her maternal wiles to encourage some weight loss in her porky son. And it worked. Almost. I discovered many years later that you can buy a very tasty and clean doner in a restaurant in Stoke Newington.

So obviously the team at the HPA, like most of us, is repulsed at the sight of footballers constantly coughing up greenies and have cooked up some spurious health risk to make them stop. Now all we need is for some expert to tell them they’ll contract HIV if they carry on diving.

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Written by harrisharrison

October 28, 2009 at 9:20 pm

Posted in Football

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. How many points in a doner?

    Little sister

    November 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm

  2. 489

    harrisharrison

    November 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm


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