A Gentle Broadside
Stuart Broad has the reddish complexion of a man who grew up holding his breath a lot when he didn’t get what he wanted. I can just imagine the exasperated Mrs Broad wailing at her satanic little son to “just wait until your father gets home”, a threat to which he could gleefully counter with the information that Dad is on tour to New Zealand and won’t be home for months.
If I am right about Broad’s behavioural problems as a boy it would certainly fit in with the reputation that is quickly beginning to hang off him in his adult years. Added to a growing litany of crimes of petulance, Broad’s ongoing insistence on bowling shorter deliveries when he is clearly better served by a fuller length hints at an harrumphing aggravation that he isn’t operating at a quicker pace.
And now we come to the latest allegations of ball-tampering: “Mummy, this ball won’t reverse swing for me”. It is possibly true to say that as a means of getting the ball to swing, stamping on it is about effective as asking it to do so, but Broad should tread very carefully from now on. Otherwise he’ll end up in detention.
P.S They sell styrofoam cups of sweetcorn at Newlands. Which taste as bland as you would think.