Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

That’s Enough Mascots Now

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I really honestly don’t care about the London Olympic Mascots, but they represent such a rich comedic seam, I’m going to continue to mine it.

The collective outpouring of disgust this morning was predictable. I saw at least a dozen people on the tube reading the back pages with the scrunched-up features of a baby eating a lemon. Rivers of vomit flowed down Oxford Street. Tottenham Court Road was the scene of a thousand minor epileptic attacks.

LOCOG have missed a trick here. The best PR for this kind of thing is no PR at all. They should have removed this project from the clammy hands of that advertising gonk squatting on the table in the middle of his office trying to raise a brainstorm from his colleagues on an “all-nighter”. I can smell the delivery pizza from here.

Commissioning Michael Morpugo to dream up the heartwarming story that Wenlock and Mandeville were created by an old man for his grandsons is one thing, but when it’s later revealed that the mascots contains a casing for covert surveillence then it’s just plain disturbing. Being an instrument of pederasty will win you no fans (I presume).

Lord Coe has been keen to stress the input of child focus groups in the production of the pair, but perhaps he would have been better served by handing to entire process over to the little blighters. Run a contest on Blue Peter or in the Broom Cupboard or wherever it is they hold mascot-drawing competitions these days. You won’t hear anyone moaning at the launch if the mascots are the product of the fevered imagination of a tiny girl with pigtails and polio.

Unless it’s really shit.

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Written by harrisharrison

May 20, 2010 at 4:48 pm

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