Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Misguided World Cup Previews: Group A

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South Africa have employed a choreographer to create a bespoke celebration if they score. This makes me want them to score no goals. But it probably wouldn’t do for the hosts to shuffle off early. Their job is to ensure that the party gets off to a jolly start to then bow out somewhere around the second round before anyone can accuse them of only succeeding due to home advantage. And to hand out the cheese straws and make sure that everybody has enough red wine.

France won the World Cup in their own country in 1998. Since then they have specialized in a sort of durable incompetence with a dark side. They’re the new Germany. Have largely survived a series of bizarre challenges set by their eccentric manager in the build-up. It’s been a feast of hilarious obstacles designed to wheedle out the more fragile members of the squad (that’s you Lassana Diarra), and it seems to have been influenced by Takeshi’s Castle, or Takeshi’s Chateau as they call it in France. Rumours that they will be swimming up crocodile-infested waters in giant sumo outfits to enter South Africa remain unsubstantiated.

Mexico always seem to make it to the finals. That’s possibly because Concacaf is the qualifying region that all the other regions laugh at. Looked sprightly and fresh-faced in their recent fixture against England with the honourable exception of Cuauhtemoc Blanco, who trotted around the Wembley pitch with the lumpen intensity of a washed-up TV chef in a celebrity game. Seem to have played a friendly every day this week.

Uruguay are appearing at the World Cup for the first time since 2002. Then they didn’t do very much apart from help knock out France. Would probably be satisfied just to repeat the trick this time round. Have won two World Cups, but I never hear any Uruguayans wanking on about it. That’s probably because I don’t know any Uruguayans.

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Written by harrisharrison

June 3, 2010 at 8:15 pm

4 Responses

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  1. […] leave a comment « Misguided World Cup Previews: Group A […]

  2. To be fair to Mexico, they have a very good record of (almost) always making the second round as well. To be unfair, it is pretty easy to qualify for the finals when the number of places given to Concacaf is always decided by the formula:
    Concacaf_qualifiers = number_of_teams_better_than_USA + 1

    Russ

    June 4, 2010 at 2:56 am

  3. […] Group A Preview here […]

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