Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

An Open Letter To Tiger Woods

with 2 comments

Dear Tiger

Although the fact that you have a new putter is fascinating, mainly we are more interested that you enjoy throttling suspicious-looking women with lots of tattoos. Did you see that documentary on the telly the other day? You were probably busy. It was very enlightening.

Please be aware that the nubile female population of the university has long since left on their summer hols, there are now just depressed-looking men in cagoules. That nice lady with the soft Irish voice who keeps chasing you down the fairway is only interested in what club you might be taking for your next shot. She is off limits. If you do feel the urge, then I reckon Hazel Irvine might be up for it. Something in the eyes.

Good luck this weekend, Tiger. Keep your eye on the ball. Even if it’s wobbling around by your feet.

Love Harris Sportsthoughts

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Written by harrisharrison

July 17, 2010 at 10:29 am

2 Responses

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  1. Dear Harris

    I’m well aware of your never ending, unhealthy interest in the minutaei of my life. If your cute little blog didn’t do the trick, I’ve had the British press up my ass all week. Why the ending of one man’s marriage sends people I’ve never met into a blogging fever is something I’ll never understand.

    Gotta give you props, though. At least you didn’t couch your curiosity in my personal life in the way your media counterparts do: “he made all this money, he OWES us complete info about EVERYTHING we’re curious about!

    Nah, you’re just plain rabbit-ass nosy.

    budsonly

    July 18, 2010 at 2:14 am

    • Thanks for noticing my ass, TIger.

      harrisharrison

      July 18, 2010 at 10:26 am


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