An Open Letter To Tiger Woods
Although the fact that you have a new putter is fascinating, mainly we are more interested that you enjoy throttling suspicious-looking women with lots of tattoos. Did you see that documentary on the telly the other day? You were probably busy. It was very enlightening.
Please be aware that the nubile female population of the university has long since left on their summer hols, there are now just depressed-looking men in cagoules. That nice lady with the soft Irish voice who keeps chasing you down the fairway is only interested in what club you might be taking for your next shot. She is off limits. If you do feel the urge, then I reckon Hazel Irvine might be up for it. Something in the eyes.
Good luck this weekend, Tiger. Keep your eye on the ball. Even if it’s wobbling around by your feet.
Love Harris Sportsthoughts