Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport

Exclusive: French Team Revealed

with 3 comments

Following the suspension of the entire French World Cup squad, here’s an exclusive look at Laurent Blanc’s first French team for their upcoming friendly with Norway:

Goalkeeper: Fabien Barthez. Selected so the coach can snog his head.

Left-back: Serge Blanco. Possibly the best full-back of all-time.

Centre-back: Louis Bleriot. Ahead of his time, great in the air.

Centre-back: Inspector Clouseau. Suspect defender, most known for comedic calamities. Bit like a French Titus Bramble.

Right-back: Napoleon Bonaparte. Pocket battleship of a full-back, very ambitious in attack. Never properly recovered from an unsuccessful spell in Russia.

Left-wing: David Ginola. Fairytale return for the man ostracized from the national team for overhitting a cross. If nothing else, will have the best hair in the side.

Centre-midfield: Claude Monet. Creative midfielder whose talent lies in short imaginitive passing.

Centre-midfield: Joan of Arc. Combative and determined. Plays with the conviction that God is on her side. He’s watching from the hospitality boxes.

Right-wing: Nicolas Sarkozy. Controversial choice, only marginally more popular than the World Cup squad.

Forward: Asterix. Diminutive but powerful player, happiest playing in the hole behind a larger striker. Terrific record against the Italians. Added bonus that magic potion is not on FIFA’s list of banned substances.

Forward: Gerard Depardieu. Big lump.

Bonne chance, chaps.


3 Responses

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  1. Obelix at the back.


    July 24, 2010 at 11:20 pm

  2. Hi

    I work with the Barmy Army and saw your post – funny stuff! For anyone travelling out to Australia this winter for the Ashes or just for some fun check The Barmy Army’s guide to the Ashes. It includes information on the best places to hang out, accommodation and things to see in Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne and Sydney. To down load your free copy, please go to http://tiny.cc/933cn


    July 27, 2010 at 11:17 am

  3. No room I see for les Generals Charles De Gaulle or Henri-Philippe Petain. Mind you the former’s contribution was decidedly off piste whilst the latter was hopeless at tackling German forwards.

    A bientot.


    July 28, 2010 at 12:08 pm

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