Harris Sportsthoughts

Thoughts about Sport


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There was a man living in the village that I grew up in who lived next-door to the village hall. Whenever there was some festivity at the hall, perhaps a garden show or particularly rambunctious whist drive, he would complain to the parish council about the noise levels. It was like he was pursuing a vendetta against fun, as if fun had done him some previous injury or he’d had a bad experience with fun at a party. His name was Mervyn Suggett.

The country is populated by vengeful, petty people like Suggett. They all descend from one progenitor who created a bloodline of Suggetts to vex us ordinary folk with their clipboards and sound monitors and incessant sanctimony.

The golf club is a habitat in which Suggetts thrive. They gravitate to the fairways, attracted to a game which not only requires a hefty book of fiddly rules, but also places the application of those laws into the hands of the participants as opposed to an official.

It was almost certainly a Suggett who was watching the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship on his television as Padraig Harrington moved his ball a millimetre forward with an infinitesimal caress as he went to place it and decided that this infraction should not go unpunished.  The Suggett obviously ignored that Harrington gained no advantage over his opponents in this act, and that his intervention would evaporate the rare form that the affable Dubliner had finally put together. He or she (a Suggette) logged onto the European Tour website and lodged their grievance in the feedback section.

Following his disqualification, Harrington stuck around in Abu Dhabi to give what was a presumably a tongue-in-cheek masterclass in how to mark one’s ball. As you can see, in attendance were a random brigade of sportsmen including cricket’s Chris Cairns.

It looks great fun. So get fucked, Mervyn Suggett.


Written by harrisharrison

January 23, 2011 at 6:48 pm

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