Phil Neville Shows A Bit More Excitement

So Phil Neville responded to criticism of his monotonous debut in the co-commentator’s chair with the following:

“The feedback is that I need to show a bit more excitement, so I think you’ll see that more on Thursday night in the highlights show”

The promise of seeing ‘a bit more excitement’ is certainly enticing, but what on earth is it going to sound like?

CHRIST ALIVE! DID YOU SEE THAT! THE BALL WENT NEAR THE GOAL!

FUCK ME! WHAT. A. KICK. MUST HAVE GONE AT LEAST 40 YARDS! SOARING LIKE AN EAGLE STRAIGHT OUT OF PLAY! 

WHOARRRRRRRRRGGGGHRRRRRAAAHH! IT’S A THROW-IN.

OFFSIDE! I LOVE THIS WORLD CUP! I LOVE FOOTBALL! I LOVE LIFE! I LOVE YOU GUY MOWBRAY! 

IT’S A YELLOW CARD! YELLOW LIKE THE SUN AND THE DAFFODILS AND THE MARGARINE!

Word is that the BBC have recruited legendary Dutch commentator Jack Van Gelder, responsible for the demented outburst below, to coach Neville and the pair are currently having a one-on-one excitement training session by shouting at seagulls on Ipanema beach.

 

RAY LEWINGTON! RAY LEWINGTON! RAY LEWINGTON!